A friend stays a friend

very cool

A typhoon was suppose to hit yesterday at 6 pm, so when I left for the day I left prepared for anything.  Tatiana, with short died dark red hair, is from Serbia and came with 3 coats.  She`s lent me one of them.

The day started out at Nijo Castle.  It`s large and took the whole morning to go through.  It was amazing and so old.  Everything here is so old.  America is very young in many ways.

One of my favorite parts about the castle is the design of the flooring.  Wooden planks of all different widths and worn by time span the many hallways.  When it was constructed they developed a technique so that when one walks across the floor it sounds like nightengales singing.  This was maybe a two-fold purpose.  One - a sound for the Shogun to enjoy, and two - it warned of intruders.  It`s was something else to walk through those hallways and hear the nightengales singing and echoing throughout the beautiful architecture.  You couldn`t even tell it was coming from beneath your feet. 

It`s complete brillance really.

We were lead by the head gardener of the grounds and were able to go places that normal visitors wouldn`t have access to.  We have had several of those experiences thus far.  Lots of questions were asked and answered and my brain is just trying to hold everything in.  Writing it all down will help free up space, and I aim to write it all out today; all that I have learned, plus thoughts and insights that I have gained on my own just by being here.  Lots of ideas.  Eeek.

At around noon we were footloose - aka, on our own.  ..... and I always seem to find each other at lunch and dinner time, plus a few others and hit the streets and side streets.  We travel in a similiar fashion and like to discuss and share ideas and thoughts.  This time it was just us and John, who dons a shiny black LeSportsac backpack and a smile.  He laughs easily.  In search of a good noodle shop, we quickly found one on the corner and warmed ourselves with a great brothy soup.  John had a scheduled tour at another garden so ..... and I were on our own for the rest of the day.

It`s been fun getting to know ......  He`s from Chicago, 38, atheist, jazz musician, played college ball, and loves plants.  Loves plants.  From the beginning we started that eye game where you catch the others gaze from across the room or the crowd and hold it until one looks away.  Our eyes are always smiling at each other.  I continuously lose, more out of shyness (okay, maybe a hint of coyness) than disinterest.  But it`s been a fun detail of the daily excursions and I was content that it was going to be just us for most of a day.  I would be able to get to know him better.

We first went to a tool shop.  Any Japanese tool gets us excited and Japanese gardening tools even more so.  He bought a heavy knife for bamboo cutting.  I might buy some pruners and other cutting tools next week.  Then it was off to Kodai-ji, which sits on the side of the Eastern mountains.  I had been there before, but I wanted to show ..... the dry garden.  Our goal was to be there at 5 o`clock, sitting somewhere wonderful when the temple bell is hit.  We made our way to the garden entrance, passing shrines, temples and young boys playing baseball.  Before entering the garden we noticed a gardener.  ..... went over and mentioned the name of his pruners.  The garndener was very impressed someone knew the brand name of his tool and then he started a conversation with us in his broken english!  Luck was on our side.  He took us back to his shop, showed us his tools, answered a variety of questions and offered his thoughts and heart about what a garden is.  It was a beautiful moment when, without asking, he started talking about listening to the garden.  Listenting to nature.  That too many people do not listen, so we must listen.  And if we listen and create beauty, then maybe, others will be able to hear it and see it too.  He`s the head gardener for this temple, and is such a warm individual. 

We weaved our way through the garden, arounds ponds, up the hill, down the hill and into the bamboo.  We stopped and sat, but the mosquitos were too hungry there.  So we moved our way down and out of the garden and on to the side of the mountain where the tallest Buddha I have ever seen (We`re talking HUGE) was sitting behind on the mountainside, and a breathtaking, panoramic view of Kyoto was spread out in front.  We were right next to the bell  - and a few minutes before five, the man with a bead counter came out, and at 30 second intervals, pulled the large round wooden piece back with a rope and with great effort, whammed it against the heavy bell.  It sounded and resonated.  He continued every 30 seconds until a few minutes after 5.

It was dark now and the city lights were glinting throughout the Kyoto basin below.  We followed a narrow street that led upwards.  Which led to other narrow streets.  We always chose up as our direction.  Shops - many shops were passed.  We were in search of a small bell shaped as a bowl.  Kane.  By chance we came across a store that sold prayer beads - and that`s where we found the bell.  ..... bought a beautiful, rich sounding bell - an almost dark tone.  I will look for one later.

I wanted some icecream.  ..... doesn`t like icecream.  I found a shop that had softserve black sesame honey mixed with vanilla.  It was absolutely delicious, and with that flavoring, ..... of course had a few licks.  We got to talking about shopping for other people and what we were going to get them.

"So who are you going to buy for?"

"My wife..."

[What!?!  His WIFE?!?]

"my mom...."

[He has a wife?]

"and my neighbor."

[Really?!?  Okay people, he doesn`t wear a ring, so I just assumed...wrongly!]

Okay.  No big deal, except he hasn`t been shy about putting his arm around me casually on occasion or about the way he leans in to whisper something in my ear.  Sometimes a certain action means nothing more than that action for one situation, but in another it means much more, and you know when it`s something more because you feel it.  Some actions just shouldn`t be for some situations, unless you are intending to convey a certain message.  As we are walking up the street I take a step (or several steps) back mentally and emotionally.  I ask him what he is going to buy for his wife.  He doesn`t know.

We decide to go back to the hotel and see what the others are doing for dinner.  The shops are starting to close, the moon is rising - the night is clear and warm.  A perfectly romantic evening in a perfectly romantic city if you`re not on a mountain side with a married man.  On the way down the mountain we see a towering temple looming in the dark and the wide running stones steps begs us to climb and enter through the gates.  We do so.

At the top of the steps and through the massive gates there`s a very large space before you head up another wide staircase of stones and through another series of gates that leads to a wonderful pagoda.  We sit for a while at the gates and chat, ..... in a reclined position and I with my knees tucked into my arms.  The space is simply enchanting.  The pagoda is softly showing in front of the dark mountain trees.  I ask ..... more about his wife - deciding best to establish our fiendship as just that, as soon as possible.  We talk about his relationships, we talk about mine.  Keeping it casual and whatnot.

Six o`clock and a bell somewhere in the distance sounds.  30 second intervals.  It`s dark and the spaces surrounding us are softly lit only by lanterns.  Keeping it casual.

It`s time to head down the mountain.  We have been sitting there for a while and I start to gather my thoughts and my things.  Before we stand up to leave, He leans over, rests his hand on my arm and while looking into my eyes says something in Japanese.  [What!?]

Maybe I shouldn`t have been surprise, but I certianly didn`t know what to say.  He was, afterall, speaking in Japanese, but I knew he wasn`t talking to me about icream, rice or samuri swords - or what I was gong to be for Halloween.  With my blank response, He reapeated it and I recongnized two words - "I" and "like".  And then I remembered two things.  First - that he was asking someone the other day how to say "like" in Japanese, and second - the only phrase he knows in French is "voulez vous couchez avec moi ce'st soir." 

Hmmm.

Maybe this Kampai King with the smiling blue eyes isn`t really my type afterall.  He likes me, and he likes my thoughts.

Fine.  You could have meant nothing much, but did you really have to put your hand on my arm and look at me like that and talk to me in Japanese in the darkness of the mountainside temple?  A toltal heart-melt moment if you weren`t m-a-r-r-i-e-d.  Could I have that moment back with another man?

The story ends, how.  Well - let`s see.  Hmmm.  Me in all my surprise went on auto-pilot and when he, for the third time, but this time in English, told me he liked me - I dumbfoundedly told him that I like him, too.  Ha!    

People!  I told a married man that I liked him!!!  I like a lot of people, this is true, but given the context  - we can see the problem here.  Sure, I like him, but not like that - anymore.  It`s amazing how your attraction towards someone can change, and mine certainly did once the words ,"wife" came out of his mouth. 

And he can just forget about the other night when we (and others) were at a lounge enjoying sardines and cheese and An Affair to Remember just happened to be playing randomly on the tv in the corner.  The leading lady has red hair and I bet Carey Grant played basketball, and if not, for sure the saxiphone. 

Looks like I need to reconfigure my auto-pilot settings, eh?


Oops.

******

Back at the hotel I was super tired, but still hadn`t eaten dinner.  I went to see if  Ruth and Jeannine had eaten then spent the next hour or so in one of the rooms with David, Russell, Holger, John, Konstanijin, and Brent.  All sitting on tatami and futons and laughing a lot about a lot.  I didn`t play any eye games or sit near by.  

After a while David and Konstatijin went to the Jazz bar to finish out the Saturday night.  I was too tired and declined.  I love live jazz.

I do laugh to myself when I think of yesterday, and if the situation asks - I am now prepared to tell him he`s a married man.  Which he knows, of course - but maybe needs to be reminded.

I learned from an insitute teacher, who loved to talk to me about Corey Davidson (written by my father), that it all started with a simple look - and that that look lingered too long, and happened too often.  He was just going to the bank - nothing wrong with that.  I am in Japan studying gardens.  Nothing wrong with that.

King David was on the roof top, nothing wrong with that.

It`s what we do and how we react when our eyes are presented with situations that could be alluring, and sometimes very alluring, but simply destructive.  What single, 29 year old woman doesn`t want to feel loved or needed?  Or anyone for that matter?  It can be very appealing when someone, married or not, tells you they like you.

So while my interactions with the Kampai King have been nothing serious, all things considered - I`ll mind my gaze, and let it end with the eyes.  Because that`s a good place for it to end, methinks.