Well?
I decided to take after the bear. Sleep. Do nothing. I say I do my taxes, but I haven't started yet. (Lyn Marie, you'll be getting a phone call soon). Do I feel bad about my in-productivity? Sometimes.
I eat too, you know. Sometimes. Well, at least that's something.
Dealing with a broken heart actually consumes a lot of energy! So I guess I take back my comment on being "unproductive." It takes a lot out of me to lie under the covers all day, pretending and wishing and hoping that things were different and that I could love and feel loved again by the only person in the whole world I want to see again, talk to again, be next to again. And forever.
I think my mom thinks I could find better use of my "productivity." But she cries with me, so that's okay.
[Oh the drama Lorien, you create it so well!]
What?! It is drama. But it's real. And it really hurts and it's okay to say-so. So I'm sayin'-so.
Today was another, productive, day. And this is what I did in the midst of my productivity.
I planted bulbs.
BULBS?
Not those.
Nor those! Goof. Although they are real nice. But probably too nice to plant.
Yes! These are the ones. Mini daffs in white. And in four to six weeks, when all is dead and cold and people just want to see the sun and some green - I will have a pot, full in bloom of mini-daffodils! Fragrant even.
These here are crocuses. Small and delicate. Again - in four weeks it will be splashes of lavender to smile back at me. If all goes well.
And among all my mourning, this is hopeful looking, isn't it?
I bought some paperwhite bulbs to do just this very thing...but I haven't done it yet. Is it too late? Any pointers?
ReplyDeletea broken heart is always a bummer. but I'm glad you were productive amidst your "productivity." keep moving!
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's too late April. This is actually my first year attempting the task. I guess the only pointer I have is keep the soil moist, but not soggy. You probably knew that already. Hee. As far as your roses go - we have had such a mild winter that I am sure they are fine with out all that straw around them. My roses I protected are in PC. I am not a rose expert, and maybe you should do some protecting of your own - but maybe at your elevation it's not a huge deal. I did a lot of researching on line about it. And I rarely see roses in Utah County protected. SO either they don't need to be, or people just don't know. Dunno.
ReplyDeleteAnd a broken heart is so much more than a bummer. It's devastating.
April - your blog entitled "April's Stuff" - do you write there often? I always admired your writing in school and was always nervous when I had to hand my paper to you to be corrected! Ha ha!
ReplyDeleteI had planted a large red flower bulb, the name started with an A and I can't remember. It's looking pretty sad still...good luck to all of our bulbs...
ReplyDeleteAh, it does sound like you have been productive. Bulb planting is a manifestation of hope.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, a broken heart is devastating. Eventually devastation gives way to faith which leads to hope which is anchored in Christ who can and does heal all - no scars, no old wounds. It takes time though. If love is real, then so is the pain also.
“The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal.” C. S. Lewis, Shadowlands.
I didn't know you were going through that--I'm very sorry. My mom told me that losing someone (they lost their first child and close relatives) requires time and a process of grieving. That helped me through some hard times, but sure didn't solve it. Remember the email I received when we were serving together that the guy I'd been engaged to got married. You know I still love him but time does make things better and life somehow goes on. If you ever want to talk I can empathize. I've had more than one heartache and they are very, very, very hard.
ReplyDeletedear Lorflor,
ReplyDeleteI felt that you've feel. I even often get it. But here I do hope for you to be hearten and keep believe that God will guide you the better way to replace you hurt. I support your productivity program lorflor, and I always admire you as a strong and attractive girl.
nothing that I can do except hoping and support you in every way.
Dont hate love because it causes hurt and trouble but see the essential of love that you've ever made.Cause when you love him you have made a greater things for him especially and for you. perhaps something that he never got before.
ps. time after time I see that your home more beautiful and attractive. much inspiration
ZPQ, Allium is what you have - I am pretty sure. Is is planted in a pot? Is it inside or out? Do you keep it moist?
ReplyDeleteyou should take up skiing in the winter months:) So...when are we going to go. Jarred and I keep talking about how we want to take you up skiing. You would LoVe it!!
ReplyDeleteLorien good for you on this post! And I hope you know what I mean when I say that. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat things come up from the dirt. Bless your heart and best of blessings in emerging from a broken heart. PS: I am so all about a trip to Africa whenever you are able. I say we make it happen. :)
ReplyDelete