Sheepishly-shy

It's always a nerve-racking experience for me to go visit a residence where a landscape that I designed has been installed. I get nervous.

This past summer I was invited to a dinner party where all who where involved in building the home were able to gather together to enjoy the finished product of their long, hard work. I had never been to such an event and felt like I had stepped into a different realm; a professional, classy, catered dinner party, out on the patio in the evening light and all. It was beautiful. I even bought a new shirt for the event...and shoes...pathetic I know.

I did take a good wander through the house (amazing), but my main concern, was of course, the landscape. I had developed the concept design, which included lots and lots of walls. Once the concepts were complete and approved, my boss drafted them in to AutoCAD and made some changes here and there, but the overall design stayed true to what I had originally drawn. I helped a bit with the planting scheme, and then the plans were off to the contractor for installation! Bite my nails.

The Belgard Paver booklet has always been a favorite of mine. I just love to look at pavers! Especially when applied on the floor plane. So when the '08 edition came out, I was rather sheepishly-shy to find this very project featured. (Like I said, I had designed in a lot of walls...there was a lot to retain!)


(A: It's better in person, and B: This is a first-year landscape, give it two more years and the walls won't be demanding so much attention. :)

The Government Wants All Of My $

Working on taxes...self-employed...oxygen mask...somebody get me an oxygen mask.

I am not sure if it was a panic attack.

Last night I crawled into bed at quarter to midnight. A little later than desired, because I had stayed up to watch a delightful movie with my sister, brother and a friend. Tiredness had hit me earlier, but as I lie there tiredness turned in to restlessness as my mind started to work. Dur. It does that. I have a project that consumes my thoughts constantly, and I'll admit that I rather enjoy it, but sometimes it is a nuisance when one is in dire need of rest. My mind wouldn't stop, and thoughts and concerns just started spinning faster and faster while my heart beat doubled then tripled. I was awake.

Ha, this girl is not going to get any sleep tonight.

Alright, alright. Lying there wasn't going to accomplish anything. I found myself at my drafting table. Pencils, scales, paper. Another good work session.

Head hit pillow 3:3somthing am. And now it's mid-morning and the project is still rolling! Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight, but I have my doubts...tomorrow I am in charge of a rather important activity/meeting.

I live for Saturday nights sleep!

Is it basketball or is it madness?

So it's that time of year. And yes, I did fill out my brackets.

Did I know what I was doing when I filled it out? NO. Have I followed any of the teams? NO. I just went by their rankings, threw in a few upsets here and there, and declared UCLA the winner. Have I watched any of the games since it has started? NO. I have updated my bracket, keeping track of points and whatnot. Maybe I'll win something, although I am doing horribly in the West, or maybe it was the Mid-West...both?

You know, I used to be obsessed with this time of year. While attending Ricks College, I was fully consumed by this madness. Our apartment was ridiculously decked out. We made a bracket that covered the ENTIRE wall. We played, "Do ya wanna dance" by the Beach Boys over and over...and over. We would leave in the middle of class to get the latest scores, and answer the phone with the latest developments. The list goes on. We beat out any guys apartment in all of Rexburg, I declare. It was hot. We even made posters for our favorite ESPN Sports Center guys and gals. (We sent them a letter with pictures of us holding their posters in front of the monster bracket, requesting pencils and microphones that they had used...we got our picture back in the mail...with Dan Patricks autograph).

But since then, my obsession has waned to a bystanders interest. I like basketball fine. I appreciate basketball. (College MUCH more than pro) The madness has just simmered (way) down for me and I am okay with that. (Sorry SJBG!)

I had a great work session this morning. But as you can see...It's a good thing I don't play for UCLA, or any other NCAA team for that matter.

A Poem

Not by me no. I wish. Ha. I guess I am just not in much of a mood to write, but still in a mood to post...hmmm.

My sister actually posted this a few weeks ago, so I am stealing it and posting it on mine...

Summer Storm ~ Dana Gioia

We stood on the rented patio
While the party went on inside.
You knew the groom from college.
I was a friend of the bride.

We hugged the brownstone wall behind us
To keep our dress clothes dry
And watched the sudden summer storm
Floodlit against the sky.

The rain was like a waterfall
Of brilliant beaded light,
Cool and silent as the stars
The storm hid from the night.

To my surprise, you took my arm–
A gesture you didn’t explain–
And we spoke in whispers, as if we two
Might imitate the rain.

Then suddenly the storm receded
As swiftly as it came.
The doors behind us opened up.
The hostess called your name.

I watched you merge into the group,
Aloof and yet polite.
We didn’t speak another word
Except to say goodnight.

Why does that evening’s memory
Return with this night’s storm–
A party twenty years ago,
Its disappointments warm?

There are so many might have beens,
What ifs that won’t stay buried,
Other cities, other jobs,
Strangers we might have married.

And memory insists on pining
For places it never went,
As if life would be happier
Just by being different.

Actually, for some great reads, go here...Just An Orange...she has published some great posts.

Diamond Dealer

I am not one who usually peruses through the blogoshpere seeing what others are posting. But last week I came across a blog that interested me. The owner is a women from Australia who sells diamonds and other fine jewelry. (That is one of two jobs that I have wanted in the past, but never bothered to get, and most likely never will).

And since my mind is so ______, I'll share some of her stories, using her own words.

In Memory of Baby

Maybe It's too Late

Such sad stories, I know.

Passion

Okay - so if you made it through those three, here's one more that I quite enjoyed and was reminded of when I read "Passion"

What if none were enough?

Easter II

So I named my eggs.

Yes - I gave them all a title and now I have to eat them. It's like raising a duck, giving it a name, and then having a hard time eating your duck that is now your friend, because you gave it a name. But you always knew you were going to eat the duck.

So...in honor of their memory, allow me to share my eggs.


THE LADIES' SOCIETY



THE PERSIAN PRINCE



MAIDS AND CLOVERS



EL REY DEL SOL



SHUTTERS ON MY WINDOW



QUEEN ANNES LACE



YES SIAM


My brother, with whom I share a birthday is a LOTR guru. I have never met anyone who knows quite as much as he does about Tolkien history, etc. Here are some of his contributions this Easter season:


THE ONE EGG



ELVEN EGG



A TRIBUTE TO TOLKIEN

Easter I

"Life does not begin with birth, nor does it end with death. Prior to our birth, we dwelled as spirit children with our Father in Heaven. There we eagerly anticipated the possibility of coming to earth and obtaining a physical body. Knowingly we wanted the risks of mortality, which would allow the exercise of agency and accountability. “This life [was to become] a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God.” (Alma 12:24.) But we regarded the returning home as the best part of that long-awaited trip, just as we do now. Before embarking on any journey, we like to have some assurance of a round-trip ticket. Returning from earth to life in our heavenly home requires passage through—and not around—the doors of death. We were born to die, and we die to live. (See 2 Cor. 6:9.) As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven."

Elder Russell M. Nelson

HaPPY eaSTeR!

flowers for mourning

Flowers have been used in burial rituals for hundreds of years. In more ancient times they were used to mask the odor of body decomposition. Although I do not know the complete history of flowers used for funeral services, they now are an important part in honoring the dead and to show sympathy to the grieving. They are a way to communicate love, sympathy and respect. And although they do not fill the empty void left behind by the one we love, they add life and hope to the day of mourning.


This is Elaine, by Toby Edward Rosenthal, oil on canvas, 1874. It was inspired by Alfred Lord Tennyson's "Lancelot and Elaine," and as I look at it, it is hard to take my eyes away. Death is taking her and her boat is adorned with flowers, beautiful flowers.

Last night I received a call from my mom. Her dear dear friend had passed away earlier this week and this morning was her funeral service. My mom had buckets of flowers and wanted help creating three flower arrangements. We met at 10 and finished after mid-night. My mom really was the master at work, I just helped with a few ideas here and there. But this morning as I walked into the chapel I noticed how beautiful they looked up on the stand and was grateful that I had the opportunity to help in some small way.

Last night was Good Friday, and as I was preparing to go over to my parents house, I thought of what Mary and others might have been doing the evening that the Savior died. How their hearts must have hurt. I wonder if they used flowers in the mourning process, along with the spices and oils.

Tomorrow we remember His resurrection; his triumph over death. Easter Sunday. And because he lives, we all will live again, including my mom's dear friend. I am ever thankful.

icecream, books, and Lent

I did it! Or rather...I didn't do it!


I resisted the most glorious icecream. I love Girl Scout Cookie icecream. And today I walked by temptation without giving in. Sometimes it's so hard. Many know that I shun the sugar because of a health condition...if it was for any other I reason (Lent?), I wouldn't have the self-discipline! And sometimes I still don't...which is why I was rather proud of myself today.

I love literature, I love books, I love text books, I love blank books, I love informational magazines that inform me of events and ideas and knowledge, other than the latest Hollywood break-up. I am a sucker for the bargain table at Barnes and Noble and I currently subscribe to five (5) magazines: Sunset Magazine, Martha Stewart Living, Horticulture Magazine, Architectural Digest, and the Country Garden edition of Better Homes and Gardens. Any other recommendations?

Sigh...when do I read all of this?

I knew I loved my major when I was one of two people who actually bought the text book. And of those who did buy it, I think I was the only one who kept it. I love it! It's a beast and it was pricey. But I love it.



So while I resist the icecream...I find that I make up for it in books and whatnot.

Lent of '09: Book buying.

GooD TueSDaY

When I woke up this morning, I knew it was going to be a good day...even with grey skies hanging above me. Yes, one of those days where no matter what happens...it's still going to be a good day. You know the kind. The kind where, when everything falls apart, you stand laughing, in the middle of the shambled mess. But I don't think I'll be having too much of shambles and rubble today. Events are clicking, I got paid, I received a most random letter from Brasil from a person I do not remember, and blue skies have made themselves manifest. And...I am really enjoying 'Something to Believe In' by Aqualung as I transmit emails. Although I skip the last 50 seconds.

If I am in the mood, I can listen to the same song numerous times in a row. 5, 11, 17...over and over and over.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are my favorite days of the week typically. Speaking of which, ZPQ and I have started practicing regularly again. We hope to play at Borders this summer...Black Holes, Before, Invited Reason, Mid-December's Grace, and one that ZPQ just finished composing that I love and is still, to this day, nameless. We mean to add three more to our line-up...maybe more.

We need a banjo song.

Restless Friday; Styrofoam and City Streets

Today is Friday. It's 4:32 in the afternoon and I am restless.

I am not sure if it's that 'Friday restlessness' that occurs because it's the end of the work week or what. I don't really have a typical Monday through Friday schedule and rarely celebrate when Friday night rolls around because then you are free until Monday. It's more like work Monday through Saturday, and any and all hours of the day. Work, no work, work, whatever.

Nothing seems to be pulling me right now as I am in this restless state. I have plenty to do....designs waiting and whatnot. But I can't concentrate. A bit scatter-brained. So I made some biscuits. Wholewheat. Yes, I can eat biscuits because they do not have yeast. But I try to eat them minimally. Next week I am going to make a pizza with biscuit dough as the crust. Interesting.

Is wholewheat one word?

It's a grey day outside and it appears as if bit and pieces of styrofoam are falling from the sky. Surreal. I think my head is full of styrofoam.

I sat, maybe stood – and pondered. What could I do right now? Read...naw. Clean....hmmm. Run: check. Work...I should. Practice....already did that. I concluded that I needed a city. Because right now if I was in a city I would take a walk...up and down the streets, wander around the corner and then the next. Peer in windows. Just walk...walk around the city. That would be perfect. But I do not have a city per se, just some neighborhood streets and an industrial area that if I was to walk around in aimlessly, would probably, maybe - be a health hazard and not very exciting.

I need a place with some movement and energy.

So I will eat my biscuits, think of the city and get back to work.

And to you all, have a great weekend!

I Like Vintage Wallpaper

Take a seat, please.

PLaN B

They say that when you start a business, you should have an exit strategy.

This is mine:


Work here (not inside the building....but outside the building):


Live here:



Click on the images to get a better vista of my bright, bright future.

Away

If I could imagine myself away...I would imagine myself away to a chair in front of a fireplace...

It was a cold day today, and the wind was brutal. I spent two hours on site taking measurements and making sure the house was positioned accurately on the site plan. One never knows, and it's not uncommon for the house to be 7' this way or 5' that way. Curious.

I am still cold and the cup of warm broth didn't make it to my bones.

Yes - curled up in a big chair in front of a fireplace. A thick blanket. Then I could warm myself. No hot chocolate, no books, no music...no noise at all...except for the occasional sound a of page being turned from the person sitting on the nearby couch. They would be reading some enlightening book about great ideas...what exactly, I am not sure. Occasionally they might mutter something...

No conversation is needed this time, just the company.

I would sit, entranced by the flicker. What is it about fire that mesmerizes me so? I think it takes us all. It takes me away. To nowhere. To a place where thoughts cease and my mind rests and no clock tower can find me.

Maybe I would fall asleep.

Let's go to the Netherlands!

Okay - if that's not the greatest idea, then I don't know what is! This Bathtub Race is part of a fundraising campaign for Mama Cash, a women's rights organization. These women know how to rock the boat.

I have always wanted to get a large cardboard box, you know, the kind a refrigerator would come in, and with this cardboard box I could really have some fun. I would get three of them, and five friends. One to ring the doorbell, one to hit 'play' for the music, and three of us to be inside the cardboard boxes. The boxes would dance to the music on the front lawn.

Then we would run away. Maybe leave a plate of brownies or something.

I have been waiting years to do this, and maybe it would make a great activity to raise funds for a worthy cause, but I think that this bathtub thing is so much more brilliant! I wish I could have been on the committee when they came to this idea, it must have been a terrific brainstorming session.

Let's go to the Amsterdam!

NM quotes

“Trials and tribulations tend to squeeze the artificiality out of us, leaving the essence of what we really are and clarifying what we really yearn for.”

“Man can learn self-discipline without becoming ascetic; he can be wise without waiting to be old; he can be influential without waiting for status. Man can sharpen his ability to distinguish between matters of principle and matters of preference, but only if we have a wise interplay between time and truth, between minutes and morality.”

“Unproductive worry — like Parkinson's proverbial law — tends to expand to fill the time available.”

~Neal A. Maxwell

I Cordran Taped My Face

In 1999 I went to see the doctor because I had a cyst on my arm. Well, I really didn't go see him because of the cyst, I had already removed it myself. But I was left with a really ugly gash as a result of self-surgery and needed to know what to do.

The doctor, while shaking his head, gave me a prescription for Cordran Tape. A tape that I was to apply twice a day across the infected area. It healed my wound and now I am left with a little hole as a souvenir. :)

In high school I didn't have too many problems with acne, I figured I was just a lucky girl who got to bypass that phase...yeah right. On my mission it got so bad that my president didn't want me leaving my apartment! Ha! Yeah right again.

Well, it hasn't completely cleared up and I continue to have problems and I have been trying to find solutions to heal my scars and resurfacing annoyances. Many avenues have been taken and none have seemed to really help. So in an effort to heal my skin, last night I Cordran Taped my face. Has the prescription expired? Yeah – back in 2001. (I figured it was low-risk, since it wouldn't be as potent) Do I know what Cordan Tape really does anyway? No. Am I afraid that I might not wake up in the morning? Oh the things we do – it all seems really vain, doesn't it.

I once had a roommate that took a pumice stone to her face in order to 'slough off' her acne problems. Ouch. I don't think it helped.

So this morning when I woke up and removed all of this tape from my face – I decided I could easily land a part on Star Trek and play the role of one of those psycho-looking people from another solar system. You know, the kind that always freaks you out a little with the crinkles in their eerily lucent-white skin.

And tonight I have to speak in front of – at least a couple hundred people. LOL.