pointe shoes

She was a dancer and I remember watching her leave to and come from ballet class each week - always with a look of longing as I watched her pink ballet bag and the toe shoes that were inside.  That is among my most vivid memories of my oldest sister -

I knew her as a ballerina.

What a beautiful word.

I started dancing at the age of 9*: tap, jazz and ballet.  I did that trio for two years before switching strictly to ballet.  I studied at the same studio that my sister had studied at.  I went each week with my best friend, Amie.  I loved it.  I loved being a ballerina and loved being surrounded by the older girls in the dressing rooms that had more experience and hoping that someday, I could be like them.

Black leotards, pink tights with a seam running up the back of each leg, soft slippers, hair pulled back tight with bobby pins and hairspray.  The bar, the mirror walls, stomachs in and shoulders relaxed.

I loved it all.

 I made it to pointe.  I remember shopping for toe shoes with my mom at the studio's store before Christmas break.  It would mean more classes, expensive shoes and dedication.  I was excited, but due to the Christmas break we decided to wait on purchasing the shoes until after wards, when classes started up again.

At that point I was offered a choice - continue with ballet on my toe shoes, or take violin lessons.  One or the other.

I chose the violin.

I don't think my parents ever knew the real reason of why I decided to make the change.  I was a growing girl - nearly 13 - and I was developing earlier than my friends and fellow dancers.  I was beginning to feel self-conscious of my figure in a leotard and was afraid of being made fun of.  So I left.  And I am of course sorry for it.  Gosh - I even get a little emotional now just thinking about it.  However, I do love the violin.  I have started playing again (the cello as well!) and I am happy for the 9 plus years I played.  But I miss the dance floor.

I would like to get back into some pink tights with a black cotton leotard, some slippers and my hair pulled back.  Maybe it's not too late to still make it to pointe and not just make it - but stay there for a while.  I don't think it's too late.**

***

*Mom, was I younger when I started?

**Ally - if you lived closer, and had time, we could take ballet together.  We would be fab in the same class, it isn't even funny.

***I jump/dance on a mini-trampoline for about 30 minutes many mornings.  I do mostly funky, random - nonsensical stuff.  But sometimes I pretend I still am a ballerina. :)