The Fear Of Doing

How much of my life is spent avoiding it?

If the time spent in avoidance, was used to accomplish,
how would my life change?

I thought of these questions this morning as I was doing some reading and thinking and realize that I may spend just as much time avoiding certain tasks and deeds as it would take to do them!  In fact, it may take less time to do it, than to avoid it.

The dishes in the sink need to be washed - I pass by them, acknowledging them, but also avoiding them.  They are not leaving.  The gym waits for me everyday, I want to be there - I want the results being there would bring...but I tell it another day, for now I will just think about being fit.  (Dear Aunt Reb, this was not a comment directed at you or your book! :) )  That idea for a painting comes to me and sits in my brain.  I think about - and think that I am doing something by thinking about it - but really I am avoiding it.  I am avoiding painting it, therefore it's been hanging in my brain for over 7 months.  A bill is due.  I am ignoring the fact that it is due and now I owe a late fee!  I need to call so and so back.  My Client needs a space redesigned - I put it off, put it off, cancel our meeting and put it off....avoidance.

Then there are weightier subjects we may avoid outside of washing dishes, making the bed and painting a canvas or writing a story. 

My relationship with my sister/spouse/friend/father/co-worker has strains tied to it - but I keep avoiding the issues that have created that strain (even if it is mostly my imagination, which still can have an effect...then you have other things to personally deal with), and the relationship is still not getting better, or maybe it is, but it's not what it could be.  I wasn't honest or fair in a situation, and years later it is still haunting me, but maybe in ten more years I'll forget about it.  I have an addiction, and rather than doing something about it - I am just ignoring it, hoping it goes away on it's own.  But it doesn't.  I have bad feelings toward someone who has wronged me.  I harbor feelings of hatred or dislike towards this person and it's affecting my ability to love - I am avoiding forgiving them for what they have done, but I want to be healed.

    

Why?  Why do I avoid?  What do I avoid?

What am I afraid of?  What am I scared of?  Failure?  Discovering that I don't have the answers?  Obtaining a less than perfect result?  Lack of interest?  Scared of being wrong or can't let go of that underlying pride?  There are so many reasons why we don't set out to do what we really want to do.  But why are we afraid of what it takes to become what we want to become?  If after all, that is indeed what we want?  Maybe you don't have this conundrum, as I do.  

What's ironic is that the one thing we avoid is the one thing we need to get what we want: Doing.  Doing is the only way to have success.  It's the only way to obtain the answers.  It's the only way to production.  We can't be afraid of failure or fear or falling on our face.  Besides, who doesn't love a good scar story?  I guess that could depend on the scar, but you know what I mean.  We can, in the least, learn from them. 

So today let's put down our thinking and pick up our doing.  Avoidance is what is going on the shelf, maybe even out in the shed.  The dumpster sounds nice too.  Saturday cleaning as it were.  Just think of one thing that you have been avoiding for a while and do it.  Thinking of all the times I have DONE - and the feeling of accomplishment and the adrenaline rush that accompanies that - is very thrilling and satisfying.  Even if the results are not what you had expected or desired, you are still moving towards your goal of becoming.  It's a process.  Life is a process.  So be gentle and patient with yourself during all of your doing today.

To wrap this post up in a nutshell, because I am heading out the door to the gym - I leave with this last sentiment:

DOn't  quIT