It's 1:28 am. I'm awake.
Today I have been lulled over by the heavier part of life. It's been hanging around for awhile, but it seemed weightier today, like when a towel gets sopping wet. Slop, slop.
I have sat down to write several times in the past week. But my loss of love still hangs on my heart and so many times I still can't write adequately. If he were on the other end - I would have a post for every day of the year...it's happened before that way.
I am curious about this year - about me as a business owner, and other things business related. That's been weighing me down for several weeks or months, or something. Worry is mixed in with that curiosity - and sometimes overshadows. My concerns are multi-faceted, and I have a lot on my mind...and today was just another rock in the bucket.
My friend told me about another friend this afternoon. About a car accident he was in. He was physically okay, but after seeing a body fly across his windshield during all of the confusion, and moments later when he was out of the vehicle and dazed, he found the little body of a 10 year old boy. Half his head gone, "daddy," the boy cried to my friend, "help me." Then he died, and my friend held him. When he got back up to the road the boys mom started banging and beating on my friend, thinking he was the idiot driver who crossed the double yellow line. Sometime later that same friend had to decide to pull his father off life support. And that same friend lost his house. And most of his business. And that's not all of the story.
So yeah. Life can be raw sometimes.
This post has been on my mind the last twelve hours. Last weekend I was laying on my couch thinking and I had a rush of understanding that in this life we are capable of great loss. I don't quite know how to explain it, but it was a deep instruction of some sort. It was the same feeling I had when I read about that poor mother.
ReplyDeleteFor the last several days, as I have been thinking about that experience, I have sensed the absolute, beyond human, sweetness that a restoration of all things will bring. Life is for real, both the sorrows and the joys.
It would be hard to get past that tragedy. Just the mental picture alone is difficult. What awful scripts get dumped in front of us sometimes. May these people find peace on some level.
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