In the past 10 years I have moved at least 19 times, the nineteenth time being this past week. I have never stayed anywhere for longer than a year, except Brazil. And while I only count that as one move to and one move back - I lived in four different places during my stay there.
I am tired of moving I think. I think my siblings are even more tired of me moving. "Here she goes again... the annual (or bi-annual) move..."
But I adore my new place emphatically and am abundantly happy here. Indeed, I am one lucky gal and I welcome visitors. And if we plan ahead, I will make you dinner. :)
***
I am trying to grow out my hair. A test of patience and contentment. I just had it cleaned up a few days ago - a necessity that makes it seem like it will take forever before I get it long again! But I am learning to enjoy it through these different stages as it lengthens out each month.
***
I am allergic to most perfumes. For some reason I refuse to remember this when I go out - as was the case last night. I have a several fantastic Brazilian perfumes that I love - but I end up with an itchy throat and a few sneezes here and there, which in turn makes the evening less pleasant. I need to further investigate this allergy and find a remedy.
***
Having just moved into a new place - I will be spending the next several weeks/month deep cleaning until every corner and cranny is like new. I love clean details. The details make the difference.
***
I am going to the Messiah Sing-in this evening at Abravanel Hall. Anyone who enjoys the Messiah, Christmas, singing, or to listen to others sing in an amazing way would LOVE to go to this annual event. Check it out.
***
If I were to have any animal in my house right now, it would be a penguin. I think they are fun and funny, and would make great company for a several hours as I would be entertained by watching it walk around. Along with the penguin, I would have a polar bear over just so he could be lazy on my rug in the front room and I could cuddle up next to his white furry tummy in front of the fire...as long as he didn't eat me. And he would invite a colorful parrot over that would ask if I had any gruyere cheese to snack on.
***
I do not have any gruyere cheese.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
2nd Grade; 7 Years Old
Going through my boxes of the past. Funny to learn more about ourselves and what we were like as children. My toy box was way cool.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
First Snow
We are blanketed in a descent of snow this evening.
The first lovely, beautiful snowfall of the year for the valley. And although it signals Winter is here, which I have in the past months, been resisting in my heart, I now welcome it fully. It's a comfort to see the snow gracing the rooftops in feather bed fashion. Each tree is outlined so delicately and precisely, and sugarplum fairies are lighting the street lamps to remind us that in the dark there is still light to see by and dreams to live by.
I am mostly done with my work until I don't know when. That is mainly why I was not welcoming towards Winter ... not knowing what will come next or when; and if I will survive the cold months ahead. The unpredictable future. Hard times are among many of us. But I am not afraid to live very frugally. I am fine with not buying the new clothes I would love to have this season that would fit me better, or be more fashionable than what I currently own. I don't mind not eating all of the wonderful foods that surround me at various restaurants that I sometimes crave. And I don't mind having to do without all the furnishings I would like to have in my new place I am moving to shortly.
I welcome the simple life. The frugal life. And a very simple life it will be - and that's okay.
I think of Thanksgiving and what that word really means. To be so thankful for what I DO have is such a blessing and deters the selfish or worldly desires that rise inside myself. And when I do feel that gratitude in my heart - then I don't mind about status or style or what sometimes seems so important in defining me. But I don't want my "stuff" to define me. I want to be defined by my character - by my attitude and by how I treat others. Not by what I own.
I will be thinking a lot about priorities this Winter. What really makes me truly happy. What matters most to me in life and what am I doing or how am I living to show that I really live by my priorities. I want an integritous Winter.
What will I do each day? Ha! I do not know! I have a wide open slate, but I feel the possibilities swaying back and forth around me and they are exciting. I will be adventuring for sure - not to geographical places however. I will be adventuring in books, with paints, in walks, wanderings and words; in enjoying the simplicities of life found in friendships, conversations, people and nature. I will laugh a lot this winter. A whole lot. I will learn a lot. I will focus on people and those around me and how I can strengthen my bonds with those I love. I will think of creative ways to accomplish beauty and goodness. I will shop at DI and improve upon my finds in interesting ways. I will further learn and appreciate what life is really about and what is most important.
Yes, it will be a good Winter. I have hope.
=)
The first lovely, beautiful snowfall of the year for the valley. And although it signals Winter is here, which I have in the past months, been resisting in my heart, I now welcome it fully. It's a comfort to see the snow gracing the rooftops in feather bed fashion. Each tree is outlined so delicately and precisely, and sugarplum fairies are lighting the street lamps to remind us that in the dark there is still light to see by and dreams to live by.
I am mostly done with my work until I don't know when. That is mainly why I was not welcoming towards Winter ... not knowing what will come next or when; and if I will survive the cold months ahead. The unpredictable future. Hard times are among many of us. But I am not afraid to live very frugally. I am fine with not buying the new clothes I would love to have this season that would fit me better, or be more fashionable than what I currently own. I don't mind not eating all of the wonderful foods that surround me at various restaurants that I sometimes crave. And I don't mind having to do without all the furnishings I would like to have in my new place I am moving to shortly.
I welcome the simple life. The frugal life. And a very simple life it will be - and that's okay.
I think of Thanksgiving and what that word really means. To be so thankful for what I DO have is such a blessing and deters the selfish or worldly desires that rise inside myself. And when I do feel that gratitude in my heart - then I don't mind about status or style or what sometimes seems so important in defining me. But I don't want my "stuff" to define me. I want to be defined by my character - by my attitude and by how I treat others. Not by what I own.
I will be thinking a lot about priorities this Winter. What really makes me truly happy. What matters most to me in life and what am I doing or how am I living to show that I really live by my priorities. I want an integritous Winter.
What will I do each day? Ha! I do not know! I have a wide open slate, but I feel the possibilities swaying back and forth around me and they are exciting. I will be adventuring for sure - not to geographical places however. I will be adventuring in books, with paints, in walks, wanderings and words; in enjoying the simplicities of life found in friendships, conversations, people and nature. I will laugh a lot this winter. A whole lot. I will learn a lot. I will focus on people and those around me and how I can strengthen my bonds with those I love. I will think of creative ways to accomplish beauty and goodness. I will shop at DI and improve upon my finds in interesting ways. I will further learn and appreciate what life is really about and what is most important.
Yes, it will be a good Winter. I have hope.
=)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
me vs. me
It comes running out of the tunnel with confidence onto the field. Footwork is too fast to follow and it pics off every fumble and bad throw made. Touchdown. It takes advantage of another bad pass. Touchdown, and this time even nailed the two-point conversion.
Game over. Worst version of myself wins again.
I lose.
I hate it when that happens.
Game over. Worst version of myself wins again.
I lose.
I hate it when that happens.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Head and Arms
My head and arms are about to fall off. I have to teach in 73 minutes. How can I teach without a head and two arms? Especially considering that I enlighten a bunch of college kids on how to draw and color with markers by demonstration and explanation?
Two Candles
In a dark room sits a young girl in an old wooden chair. Rain has been falling outside, leaving the world damp and cold - she sits motionless. Two white candles lay on the small table next to her; "Humility" engraven in one, "Forgiveness" on the other. Her gaze is fixed upon nothing but her own thoughts of what has passed. Reaching into the dark, her hand rests upon the two candles as they roll slightly under the pressure of her palm. She picks up the candle with "Humility" engraven into the wax and holds it in two hands, bringing it close to her chest. A feeling in her bosom kindles and she feels the writing on the candle seep deeply into her soul. By the desire of her heart the candle is lit. The flame flickers softly in the dark, lighting the small corner of the room and hinting at the features of her fair face and auburn hair.
The girl sees a man sitting across the room in a chair similar to hers. Dark hair adorns the crown of his head and face. His bronze eyes are soft. He sees her lit candle and the humility she is seeking to keep close to her. He watches.
She contemplates over her flame, her single, solitary flame of humility. Her eyes glance over to the candle that rests on the table - wick still white, dusted in wax. She picks up the candle and while still holding hers upright, carries it to the man across the room. She holds it out for him to take.
He sits.
She waits.
He looks up at her, and she sees a kindness and a gentleness in his expression. A deep longing as well. She motions for him to take the candle. "Please" is in her eyes.
She stands still as he sits - no movement of his hands he makes.
With Humility she waits for him to accept the candle, to Forgive her. If he would take the candle and hold it to his bosom so as to feel and desire the sincere forgiveness that is being asked for, this candle would also ignite and the dark corner in this part of the world would be filled with light and peace; Humility and Forgiveness. The girl yearns for the man to accept the lit-less candle she holds out to him.
Watery eyes are reflected by the single flame. She waits.
***********************************************************************************************************
A while back Ro Ro Riot asked if I had any poetry. I do. A very little. I haven't sent any to her yet - but I am posting this short story for her - not necessarily inspired by her and I am not implying she needs this story either! I am just saying that she asked about my writing and this is something I wrote. That's all.
I don't spend a professional amount of time editing stuff I write. There are a lot of holes in this piece and I am sure I could find them and sew them up if I wanted to take the time. But I am not out to impress the masses as of yet. Just to simply write. It's a stress release and a method of rumination for me.
Moooo.
My ideas that I write out are sometimes cultivated from real-life experiences, and some are not. So don't take all of my writings too seriously or too literally - although some hit closer to home than others. Which ones are which you'll just never know! If you imagine Anne reciting Two Candles from the stage of the White Sands Hotel - I am sure you will finish the story with a broad Gilbert-smile rather than a curious sadness/wonder or whatever other emotion was evoked. I laughed when I saw the mental picture (though I think my story not dramatic enough for that carrot-head) - just like when I wrote the melancholic pancake fantasy...I was laughing so hard I was crying the whole time I was writing it. Just ask Jenn. She was there. Although that story should have been taken very literally and very seriously; I meant it in the most sincere fashion possible.
I was also laughing to (or rather AT) myself when I got a speeding ticket yesterday.
Dar n.
Oh the foolish things we do.
Anyways - metaphorically we each have candles of attributes like humility, forgiveness, kindness, sincerity, honesty, charity, goodness, etc - and whether we let that flame flicker is determined by the desires of our heart. The more we seek these attributes - and I am going to say "Christ-like attributes" because He is the Light of the world - the brighter our lives are and then we are able to share our light with others and hopefully make their lives brighter as well.
The girl sees a man sitting across the room in a chair similar to hers. Dark hair adorns the crown of his head and face. His bronze eyes are soft. He sees her lit candle and the humility she is seeking to keep close to her. He watches.
She contemplates over her flame, her single, solitary flame of humility. Her eyes glance over to the candle that rests on the table - wick still white, dusted in wax. She picks up the candle and while still holding hers upright, carries it to the man across the room. She holds it out for him to take.
He sits.
She waits.
He looks up at her, and she sees a kindness and a gentleness in his expression. A deep longing as well. She motions for him to take the candle. "Please" is in her eyes.
She stands still as he sits - no movement of his hands he makes.
With Humility she waits for him to accept the candle, to Forgive her. If he would take the candle and hold it to his bosom so as to feel and desire the sincere forgiveness that is being asked for, this candle would also ignite and the dark corner in this part of the world would be filled with light and peace; Humility and Forgiveness. The girl yearns for the man to accept the lit-less candle she holds out to him.
Watery eyes are reflected by the single flame. She waits.
***********************************************************************************************************
A while back Ro Ro Riot asked if I had any poetry. I do. A very little. I haven't sent any to her yet - but I am posting this short story for her - not necessarily inspired by her and I am not implying she needs this story either! I am just saying that she asked about my writing and this is something I wrote. That's all.
I don't spend a professional amount of time editing stuff I write. There are a lot of holes in this piece and I am sure I could find them and sew them up if I wanted to take the time. But I am not out to impress the masses as of yet. Just to simply write. It's a stress release and a method of rumination for me.
Moooo.
My ideas that I write out are sometimes cultivated from real-life experiences, and some are not. So don't take all of my writings too seriously or too literally - although some hit closer to home than others. Which ones are which you'll just never know! If you imagine Anne reciting Two Candles from the stage of the White Sands Hotel - I am sure you will finish the story with a broad Gilbert-smile rather than a curious sadness/wonder or whatever other emotion was evoked. I laughed when I saw the mental picture (though I think my story not dramatic enough for that carrot-head) - just like when I wrote the melancholic pancake fantasy...I was laughing so hard I was crying the whole time I was writing it. Just ask Jenn. She was there. Although that story should have been taken very literally and very seriously; I meant it in the most sincere fashion possible.
I was also laughing to (or rather AT) myself when I got a speeding ticket yesterday.
Dar n.
Oh the foolish things we do.
Anyways - metaphorically we each have candles of attributes like humility, forgiveness, kindness, sincerity, honesty, charity, goodness, etc - and whether we let that flame flicker is determined by the desires of our heart. The more we seek these attributes - and I am going to say "Christ-like attributes" because He is the Light of the world - the brighter our lives are and then we are able to share our light with others and hopefully make their lives brighter as well.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
a warm meal
It's this time of year that I long for a hearth and a home cooked meal. A warm meal. Yum.
To end a day with a plate of hot food to warm the belly and to satisfy the brain is a wonderful thing during the winter months. And nothing quite beats a hot meal that is prepared with TLC from the home kitchen.
This winter the evening meals that I would like to prepare are as follows: a creamy chicken pot pie, several varieties of delightful soups, pot roast with delicious vegetables, beef/steak stroganoff with a secret ingredient, awesome pot stickers, a loaf of bread that I will give away as I do not eat bread, stuffed peppers if I can find a real good recipe, Grandmas fried chicken (it's not what you are thinking at all - it's waaayyy better), an authentic Indian curry.
It should be a good winter, culinary-wise anyways. And I think when I turn 29 I should throw myself a "single shower." I need better cookware - and since I am still single I don't have the benefit that most of my sisters and many friends did of having everyone else buy you pyrex, pots, pans, mixing bowls, spatulas and the likes just because you are getting married. What about us? What about me? I still want and like to cook. I still have to eat. I still have to fill my kitchen cupboards with cool stuff. I am still poor. Dur. Taxes and cookware. Us single people really have it hard. Do I hear an amen? A shout out?
Hmmmm ... I think I just figured out what I may want for Christmas.
To end a day with a plate of hot food to warm the belly and to satisfy the brain is a wonderful thing during the winter months. And nothing quite beats a hot meal that is prepared with TLC from the home kitchen.
This winter the evening meals that I would like to prepare are as follows: a creamy chicken pot pie, several varieties of delightful soups, pot roast with delicious vegetables, beef/steak stroganoff with a secret ingredient, awesome pot stickers, a loaf of bread that I will give away as I do not eat bread, stuffed peppers if I can find a real good recipe, Grandmas fried chicken (it's not what you are thinking at all - it's waaayyy better), an authentic Indian curry.
It should be a good winter, culinary-wise anyways. And I think when I turn 29 I should throw myself a "single shower." I need better cookware - and since I am still single I don't have the benefit that most of my sisters and many friends did of having everyone else buy you pyrex, pots, pans, mixing bowls, spatulas and the likes just because you are getting married. What about us? What about me? I still want and like to cook. I still have to eat. I still have to fill my kitchen cupboards with cool stuff. I am still poor. Dur. Taxes and cookware. Us single people really have it hard. Do I hear an amen? A shout out?
Hmmmm ... I think I just figured out what I may want for Christmas.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Congrats
Congrats to siblings number 7 & 8!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
How many emotions can a human being feel during a single day?
10, 20, 30? 100? 1,000? 100,000,000?
Today I have felt: quiet, open, searching, anticipation, desire, pleased, happy, disappointed, embarrassed, curious, amazed, reflective, placid, sad, semi-resolved, small, steady, silly, okay...
?
...so at least 19.
10, 20, 30? 100? 1,000? 100,000,000?
Today I have felt: quiet, open, searching, anticipation, desire, pleased, happy, disappointed, embarrassed, curious, amazed, reflective, placid, sad, semi-resolved, small, steady, silly, okay...
?
...so at least 19.
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